Luna in my Mourning Chair
Tools for those who grieve
Good morning from the Mourning Chair. My name is Luna, I am Nancy’s grand-doggy. She left for a couple minutes so I took over her Mourning Chair. Can you see me smiling? She will probably kick me out of this chair when she comes back into the room.
I love my grandma, but I don’t always understand her. Some days she cries in her Mourning Chair. She spends a lot of time talking on the phone to her sisters. Grandma reads but gets distracted. Sometimes in the afternoons we watch shows on that funny lighted box that I find depressing. She says she doesn’t feel like watching comedies or happy people.
Oh oh - here she comes. Maybe I can steal grandpa’s spot on the couch…
This is Nancy. I am glad you could meet Luna. She is our oldest son’s dog, and while she was not raised to be a therapy dog, she has been a blessing to my husband and me as she is living with us temporarily. Luna loves unconditionally, checks up on us, and communicates by howling. (She is part wolf.) Luna provides endless entertainment, even when she steals our food. It’s a game to her.
Those who grieve find ways to cope, positive and negative. Sometimes it is crying on the neck of a furry animal, and at times it is more formal. I had tried to find therapy covered by my insurance to no avail. I later found out that until January 1, 2024, Medicare would only cover certain types of therapists, not master’s level marriage and family therapists. This limited available therapy, other than self-pay. It was too much work to keep looking, so I gave up on therapy.
Losing a child is profoundly distressing, feelings range from despair, anger, hopelessness, and even suicidal thoughts. I recall one day about a year ago (a few months after our son took his life,) sitting in my Mourning Chair, sobbing. And yes, I had all those thoughts. I saw no reason to go on living.
As I sat in my Mourning Chair that summer morning in complete despair, somewhere in my brain I scared myself sufficiently to know I needed help.
I settled on Griefshare, a structured support group helping people cope with grief. I say structured as their program is 13 weeks, with a different topic each week. The format includes a 30-minute professional video, working through questions in a workbook, and sharing (as much or little as one desires.) The sessions are hosted by churches, and the people who developed Griefshare are Christians (although all are welcome.) It is for anyone who is grieving the loss of a person.
Griefshare did not solve all my problems, but it was a step on this journey. I encourage those who are drowning in the sea of grief to find a support group, therapy, a spiritual counselor, or other type of help. I will share more tools in future posts.
I look at Luna, now on the couch, resting but watchful. I rest in God’s Word, as I know he is watching.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry…When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:15, 17-18, NRSV